Chicago Public Golf

Winnetka Golf Club #13
Par 3
192-163-125
Winnetka, IL
Architects: Langford/Wagstaff

This par 3 on the furthest reaches of my favorite North Shore muni is just a solid hole. This view is from the back tee (like the average player does here, I play the back tees because they are sub-6,500 yards).

The back is tee is situated right on the banks of the meandering pond. The pond adds to the aesthetic, but does not really come into play as long as you get the ball airborne. The green is slightly raised and framed by a sold wall of hardwoods. A bunker catches anything short and right. Just whip out a long iron or hybrid and swing away.

I played George Dunne last Sunday morning. It’s a place for golf warriors, for trunk smashers, muni stalkers…whatever you want to call them. I’m talking about people that just want to play golf and don’t care about what happens before they step onto the first tee or after they walk off the 18th green.

You don’t go to George Dunne if you want breakfast or lunch before your round. You don’t go to George Dunne to play poker with your buddies after the round, eat free snack mix, or watch sports on a bunch of 52-inch plasmas. Heck, at George Dunne, you actually have to carry your clubs from your car to the clubhouse, so don’t even think about bringing clients here. This is a place meant only for an all-out brawl with a nasty, 18-headed beast, and there could be a lot of blood. Take your clients to a Cubs game, everybody is always happy there.

I don’t want to scare you away, but if you are the type that needs to have a pair of shiny golf shoes in front of your locker and a nice bench to sit on while you change into them, you should stay away. In fact, if you’re the type that needs to warm up on a huge grass range with a bunch of nice Titleists stacked in a pyramid; you’re not going to like this place. If you show the slightest hint of desire for these club-style amenities, I would go as far as to say that George Dunne will grab you by the ankles, turn you upside down, and mop the bathroom floor with your tongue. That’s bad, because the bathroom is pretty rough (but they did install some no-touch paper towel dispensers since the last time I played…nice).

With all of this, here’s the rub, YOU WILL BE BEGGING FOR MORE! Once you step onto that first tee, you will forget about the lack of amenities. You are immediately transported into a world of lush fairways, thick hardwood forests, serene lakes, huge weeping willows, no houses, and a layout that matches or exceeds any golf course I’ve played in Chicagoland. Each and every hole is distinctive and memorable, but don’t let the scenery distract you for a moment. If you let your guard down for a second, if you don’t plot your strategy on each tee, George Dunne will sock you in the jaw. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fair fight, but when you get to the finishing holes, you can’t help but think that the drafting board of architects Nugent and Killian was temporarily taken over by none other than…SATAN.

I carry my clubs just about every time here. It just seems like the right thing to do. This is golf stripped down to its barest essentials - one person and a bag full of clubs heading into the forest to engage the aforementioned 18-headed beast. And if you’re a walker, you will never have to part with more than $50, even on a weekend morning during peak season. That is a mind-boggling bargain, and it gets even better if you keep your eyes peeled for coupons and specials (sign up at www.ezlinks.com).

Don’t let another summer go by without playing George Dunne; it’s even worth braving the Dan Ryan traffic.

So, I grab the Trib today as I’m ordering up my sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit at McD’s in Oak Brook (it’s always better there). Like the Neanderthal that I am, I go to the sports page first. Making matters worse, I even read the Trib sports from back to front because I like to start with articles that are short and not very demanding. While my eyes were first drawn to the Anna Benson World Series of Poker story (it was top center), it didn’t take me long to get to Bears Bits (by John Mullin and K.C. Johnson) and the story of Urlacher quitting golf.

Urlacher says about the game of golf, “I tried quitting last summer, but I couldn’t do it. So I gave it up this summer, and so far I haven’t had any problems.” Those “problems,” he is talking about are injury problems.

This is great for a couple of reasons. First of all, Urlacher is probably one of the toughest dudes of our generation. He is an All-Pro linebacker for arguably the toughest defense in the league. How is it, I ask you, that one of the baddest dudes in the land is quitting the sport of Phil Mickelson and Corey Pavin because he is afraid of hurting his hammy whammy? Well, because it is a sport, and if you think it’s less demanding on your body because some fat dudes and waif-like males excel at it, you are wrong.

Listen to all of the detractors of “golf as sport”! Golf isn’t a sport because you don’t sweat! Golf isn’t a sport because there is no pain! You can’t get injured driving around on a golf cart all day! Hah, there you go. I say to you detractor-man, strap 35 lbs on your back, walk five or six miles over hill-and-dale during the dog days of summer, and stop every few moments to perform a complex, violent, unnatural physical movement. Then, after about four hours of that, tell me golf is not a sport whilst I peel your sorry ass off the ground. Or better yet, don’t put yourself through that; just ask Urlacher if you need some confirmation.

Second, I love that he tried to quit last summer, but he couldn’t do it. Like some junky looking for his next fix…just another athlete looking for a competitive outlet. Golf sucks you in and consumes your life to the point of jeopardizing your job, family, friends, and health (physical and mental). But you still do it, even though it hurts you and your loved ones, because just the chance of sticking an eight iron from 145 yards to a tucked pin, over water, on a sun-baked green on the last hole of your match is worth waiting for.