Trunksmasher Laws 1st Draft
In no particular order, comments…suggestions?
- Have a bias for walking. Walking 18 holes gives the round a more natural rhythm than riding.
- Fourteen clubs is too many clubs. A set of substantially fewer doesn’t detract materially from your score and could make you a better player. Plus, it saves your back and shoulders.
- A golf weekend away with 3 or more members of the same sex does not make you a bad spouse, an uncaring boyfriend/girlfriend, or a neglectful parent.
- Memorize the entire contents of your golf bag.
- When you arrive at the course, if the bag boy drives up to your car while you’re putting on your golf shoes to see if you “need help with your clubs,” you should politely decline and disregard any reprisal from the bag boy or your playing partners.
- Have a desire to grow the game and make golf more accessible to those not as passionate or proficient as you.
- Playing an emergency 18 holes after already playing 36 because “there are at least 2.5 hours of daylight left” is normal and is an acceptable alternative to “having a few beers by the pool” or “getting a good steak.”
- Always have a towel handy in the trunk to wipe off a small space on your back bumper to sit while you put on your golf shoes so you don’t get dirt on your ass.
- Bag-drop, what’s that? Couldn’t it damage my clubs if you drop them?
- A five hour round is not stressful and waiting on half of your shots should not be met with bitching and moaning. Actually, this situation could be construed as relaxing. It gives you more of a chance to converse with your playing partners and contemplate the resolution of world problems.